Letters I Never Sent
by DragonJade
Summary: While clearing out Grant Ward's room on the Bus, Skye comes across a hidden box of letters; letters addressed to her. AN: Takes place afters season 1. [Unfrequently updated]
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters. All rights belong to Marvel and MCU.**

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 _"I said all I had to say, In letters that I threw away"_

 _What Can I Say- Carrie Underwood (feat. Sons of Sylvia)_

 _Prologue_

* * *

Grant Ward sat down at the desk, staring at the cell phone with his finger hovering over dial. He sucked in a slow breath and closed his eyes, going over what he was going to say. It was simple enough. Call, talk, and hang up. He didn't know why he was so nervous. He would probably end up talking to Skye. Coulson trusted her more than anyone, except maybe May, and who could they have that was skilled enough to hack into a HYDRA agent's cell phone? But for some reason, the idea of talking to Skye again terrified him, and very few things ever scared him. He opened his eyes, and leaned back in his chair. Grant ran a hand through his newly cropped hair, and let out the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding in. A few seconds passed before he reached across the desk for a pen and paper, and began to write.

Fifteen minutes later, the hotel room was empty, without a sign that anyone had been there, except a piece of paper sitting in the garbage can that started with: "Dear Skye."

* * *

 **Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. This is my first published fanfiction, so it really means a lot to me. Sorry it's so short.**

 **Follow, Favourite, Review!**

\- **DragonJade**


	2. Chapter 2

Coulson straightened his black tie and his jacket over his pressed white button down shirt as he walked down the hall. He rounded the corner and entered the dining area where Simmons was making French toast.

"Good morning, Sir," she said cheerfully, "all packed for your recruiting trip?"  
Coulson nodded. "Good morning, Simmons, Yes, I am; just hoping to get a few snacks for the flight."

He glanced to the side, and spotted Fitz sitting awkwardly beside May who was sitting in the far corner, drinking tea, with a small plate of French toast in front of her. "Morning, May, Fitz."

May glared at him in response as she sipped her tea, and Fitz muttered a quiet greeting through a mouthful of toast.

Coulson sat down opposite May, and helped himself to the pile of toast that Simmons had just placed in the middle of the table and soon the only sounds in the room were chewing, sizzling and the clatter of cutlery. After a few minutes had passed, the director of S.H.I.E.L.D spoke.

"I need someone to clear out Ward's room."

The effects of the words were immediate. Simmons dropped the piece of toast that she had been currently been moving from the pan to a plate, Fitz sprayed his mouthful of orange juice across the table, luckily missing May, who glared some more as she finished her tea, then got up to make some more. Coulson took a long breath, and continued. "I know none of you want to, but we've been putting it off for too long, and in the event that we get that cloaking soon," he tried not to look at the quiet engineer in the corner, "we would need that room cleared before that. Anyone up for-"

"I'm sorry, Sir, but I'm working on that, uh, thing in the lab," Simmons quickly said, "you said you need it as soon as possible. In fact, I should go do that now." She promptly turned off the stove and left the kitchen in a hurry, also leaving pieces of bread soaking in egg.  
May finished making her tea and said, "busy," as she left. Fitz jumped up quickly once he and the director were alone and said, "I think Mack said he might need some help in the, uh, the garage, so I- I should probably go find him."

As he was leaving, he stumbled over his feet, and ran into Skye.

"Whoa, morning Fitz," she said, grabbing Fitz's arm to steady him. Fitz looked up, and a small grin spread across his face when he saw who he had run into. "Skye could do it, Sir," and left the room. Skye turned around, looking utterly confused. "What was that about? And what am I doing?"

Because he was running out of options, Coulson decided not to ask her nicely. He stood up, and poured himself a cup of coffee before he spoke. "I need Ward's room on the bus cleared out before I get back in a week." Before his nice fatherly mode could kick back in, the director exited the kitchen, leaving a confused and angry Skye alone.

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 **Thanks for reading chapter 1! I probably won't be updating until September rolls around, but I'll try my best.**

 **Follow, Favourite, and Review!**

 **\- DragonJade**


	3. Chapter 3

"Damn it, Fitz," Skye said to herself as she pulled another stack of shirts from the drawer and threw them into a cardboard box labeled _clothes_. "Why did Ward have to give you brain damage and make me feel bad about not doing stuff for you?"

There were a couple other empty boxes sitting outside the door. On the bedside table there was a small shoebox full of pens, small pads of paper, blank sticky notes, and a stick of deodorant. Ward's room was a couple square feet larger than Skye's. Since she had come onto the team last, she had last pick of, well, the last room. Because of this, she only had space for a bed a small shelf screwed into the wall, and was constantly jealous of everyone else's larger rooms. They were all equipped with the same furniture as Skye's room, but FitzSimmons each had a bookshelf for all their note books and text books, Coulson's office had a freaking office attached to it, and May's room was a mystery to everyone. Sometimes Skye wondered if she even slept in there, let alone slept at all. Ward's room had a small one-drawer desk in it. A desk that was still covered in sheets of paper, a couple pens, whiteout, eraser shavings, and a half finished and gross moldy coffee. With a sigh, Skye started to clean that up too. The moldy coffee was the first to go, and she washed it out with soap in the kitchen before filling it up with a disinfecting alcohol and going back to clear the desktop. She chucked all the pens and whiteout into the shoebox (except for a pretty blue coloured gel pen, which she pocketed to put in her room later.) Next she started to empty the drawer. There were a few notebooks in there, which Skye added to the pile of paper that was still sitting on the desk, about a dozen drivers' licenses and passports with different nationalities and names, and a dozen wallets with different types of currency in each one.

"Sheesh, Mr. Field Agent," she said to herself. Deciding that she'd better give them to Coulson, she crawled to the doorway and grabbed another shoebox to put them in and labeled it _Coulson_.

When she had finished clearing out the drawer, she started sorting through the papers on the desktop, reading all of them to make sure there was no HYDRA intel on them. None of them were HYDRA related, but there were a few notes scribbled down about missions, an envelope with a bunch of weird selfies of himself holding dozens of different gun models, and a couple pages full of doodles (much to Skye's amusement.) There was only one thing from the pile that actually caught her attention, but not because it was HYDRA; near the bottom of the pile was a drawing of a potato-looking woman in what was obviously a very sloppy boxer's pose punching a punching bag. In the background there was what Skye guessed to be the spiral staircase on the BUS, but it could also have been a DNA strand. The woman looked like she was supposed to have sweat dripping down her face, and her overly curly hair was thrown into a ponytail. Skye smiled. Even though the person in the picture could be anyone, she could tell it was her, and judging by the bad boxers pose, it was from her first week of training. In the bottom right hand corner, Grant Ward had signed his name. She smiled. A psychopath that draws potato drawings of the girls he likes; creepy, but also kind of sweet. She folded it up and pocketed it with the blue pen she had found. Most of the room was all tidied up, with everything in boxes. There was just his framed S.H.I.E.L.D graduation certificate left on the wall. There were a few sheets of foam wrap in a box, so Skye tore off a few sheets of that to wrap it in. When she lifted the frame, she noticed a small square indent behind it. She wrapped up the certificate and put it on the bed before turning back to the square in the wall. "What the hell is this," she wondered out loud and ran her fingers along it. She knocked on it, and it sounded hollow. "Maybe…" She put her fingernails in the cracks and tried to pry it open. It didn't budge. Next she tried pushing on it, and it moved! She smiled, and kept pushing until the panel suddenly dropped downwards into the wall, revealing a hidden compartment with a few protein bars, energy drinks, and a small wooden box.

"Busted!"

She reached in and grabbed the box. When she opened it, she didn't find the top secret HYDRA documents she was looking for. Instead she found envelopes, and all of them had one name written across the front:

 _Skye_

* * *

 **Hi guys! Thank you so much to everyone who read this fic and reviewed, and favourite and what not. I really appreciate it! Anyway, I said that I would try, and here it is! My friend told me that I shouldn't go that long without updating, so if you liked this chapter, you have her to thank. This chapter may be a bit boring, but I thought it would be cool to see what was inside every nook and cranny of The Robot's room.**

 ** _Follow, favourite, review!_**

 **\- DragonJade**


	4. Chapter 4

**You guys are probably thinking, well, it's about time! Either that or you all hate me and none of you are reading this right now, so I'm basically taking to myself. My sort of lame explanation is at the bottom.**

 **I did my best to make it longer, and I think I kind of succeed. It's like, a few hundred words longer than the last chapter...**

 **Disclaimer** **: I do not own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D or any of the characters. All rights belong to Marvel.**

* * *

An hour went by: Skye's thoughts constantly wandered towards the box of letters sitting in the dumpster. She could easily just run back and get them. She should go and get them before someone else found them, and honestly, she would rather know what he wrote than have that happen. During a mission briefing, every word that had anything to do with letter, box, or Ward, dragged her thoughts back to the box in the dumpster. She was able to pay attention enough to know what was happening, and to not get herself or anyone else killed, but she was a robot. Every move, every punch was all reflex. Reflex, she reminded herself, that Ward had taught her.

A day went by: Curiosity gnawed away at Skye's stomach. It wasn't so much innocent wondering, but a desperate need.

On the outside, Skye's day went by pretty normally. On the inside, she felt like a giant storm had decided to rage around in her stomach. She wandered through the Playground, trying to keep busy and eventually decided that she may as well train. She made her way to her room and threw on a tank top and yoga pants, then she went down to the firing range to shoot away her emotions. When she got there, Simmons was just putting her handgun away. She greeted Skye with a smile and a nod, so Skye nodded back and picked up a gun. It felt heavier in her hand than normal. She turned off the safety, and raised the gun to point at her target. She was suddenly reminded of her old SO for the millionth time that day. She could practically hear his voice in her head while he lectured her about the different gun releases. _Safty release will let you to fire the gun. A mag release will_ not _not you to fire the gun._ She fired the first shot, willing the voices in her head to go silent. She stared at the hole in the target's chest. The earmuffs she had put on muffled the sound, protecting her ears, but the voices continued to ring. She moved on to the next target, and imagined it was Ward. He was looking at her, with his bearded face as he sat in his cell, trying to get Coulson to let him talk to her. She shot him in the arm, wanting to see the blood running down his arm. She shot him in both knees, wanting to see him crumple to the ground, and try to run away from her. Then she shot him in the head, and emptied the barrel into his body. The anger cleared, and Skye was faced with a human shaped target with bullet-holes in various different parts of the body. She put the gun back in the rack, and left the target where it was, full of bullet holes. As she left the shoot range she could hear Ward yelling at her for not putting it away.

* * *

"Skye, I need a combat partner. You up for it?" Skye was sitting in her bunk with her head in her hands, her hair falling in her face, when Bobbi knocked on the open door. "You okay? You look kind of sick."

Skye swung her legs off the bed and started to shake her hair into a ponytail. "Yeah, I'm up," she said, eager for a distraction, then added, "and I'm fine."

Bobbi studied her for a few seconds, then patted the door frame and left as she said, "Okay then, see you in five."

When she was gone, Skye changed back into her workout clothes from earlier, and knelt down to grab the socks she had discarded. Beside the socks was an envelope, torn open and face down. It was one of Ward's letters. She reached for it and picked it up. It was the letter she had thrown on the floor before she read the second letter. Skye supposed that in her frustration she had just forgotten about it and only thrown the second letter in the box, leaving the other one behind. Sometime during the day it must have been kicked under her bunk. She stared at Ward's writing on the front, and made a decision.

* * *

Skye quickly made her way down the hall, taking a shortcut to through the lab and down the stairs. She reached the hanger, and ran to the dumpster to retrieve Ward's box of letter. When she looked in, the box was gone, and the dumpster was empty.

* * *

For the millionth time Skye was knocked to the floor.

"I gotta say, you're normally a lot harder to beat," Bobbi said, offering her a hand. "Something up?"

Skye brushed it off. "Nah, I told you earlier, I'm fine. Ready for another go?" She turned to Bobbi with her arms up to protect her face.

"I think I'm good for today, but I'll come call on you tomorrow if you want."

"Yeah, sure."

"'Kay, then. I'm going to hit the shower. You probably should too."

Skye nodded. "I'll shower in a bit."

Bobbi nodded and left Skye standing alone in the gym, sweating and sore. She went to the high-bar on the side and swung her arms as momentum to help her jump up and catch the cold metal bar in her hands. Hanging there, she closed her eyes, and hauled herself up. When her chin was level with her hands, she let herself drop back down, and then pulled herself back up. Fifty pull-ups later, Skye finally let herself fall down from the bar and drop onto the padded floor of the gym. The sweat was now running down her face. She was tired, and couldn't stop the image of Ward scolding her for stopping her pull-ups just because she didn't feel like it. _You should've finished the set. You know that I'm just going to add them to the end of your next set and you'll be even more tired. It's always in your better interest to finish them._

Skye went back to her room to get a change of clothes, and some shampoo and conditioner so that she could shower. When she got there, she could hear someone's water running (probably Bobbi's). She grabbed a towel from the towel rack and walked into a shower stall in the far corner where she undressed and turned on the water, adjusting to the right temperature. She wet her hair, once again thinking about Ward and his letters. Whatever he had written would now forever be a mystery. She wished she had at least read the letters before throwing them away in anger. If she was going to be mad at Ward for writing to her, she should at least know what he wrote to her, and even though she wouldn't let herself admit it, she was kind of curious. She wanted to know what he though of her, how much she had really gotten under his skin, and if he really had truly felt something for her other than a simple crush. She filled her hand with conditioner and worked it into her hair, then she ran a soapy shower puff over her body. She went over Ward's written words in her head as she rinsed off the soap and dried herself off. She put on her pyjamas, Blue with little clouds and lightning on it, and made her way back to her room. On her way back, she stopped in the kitchen to make something to eat before continuing her route back to her room with a sandwich balanced on a plate. When she got to her room, the sliding door that she normally kept closed was open. Hunter was standing in the middle of the room holding a box, looking around for a place to put it. Skye cleared her throat loudly, and he turned around.

"Oh, hi Skye." He looked at the box, and then to her, then the box, and back to her. He held out the box to her and said, "I think this is yours. It had a bunch of envelopes with your name on them and I found it in the dumpster earlier, so I figure you'd probably want it back." When she didn't reach out to take the box, he put it down on the desk and cleared his throat. "Well, I'll uh, be going. I gotta go see Bobbi and do some uh, stuff so…" Hunter patted the box awkwardly and and then left.

Once he was gone Skye grabbed the box off the desk and ripped off the lid. Sure enough, it was full of Ward's letters. She searched through and grabbed the third letter, dated 10/03/13, and smoothed out the folds and started to read, feeling some sort of guilt eating at her stomach.

 _Dear Skye,_

 _Please, just kill me now. I can't stand being your SO. I just can't deal with you whining about too many pull-ups and getting up to early. I tell you again, that if you're hanging off the edge of a building, you're going to want to do at least one. If something goes wrong, or someone attacks you in the middle of the night, you won't have half an hour to make sure your makeup looks good. It's training, who cares what you look like? Your hair is going to be sweaty and everywhere at the end anyway, so why bother making it look good? Maybe start paying attention to what I'm trying to teach you. I've shown you how to disarm someone multiple times, yet you never get it! You do nothing during briefing, just sit around playing with your phone. Next time you have something even sort of useful to say, just come out and say it instead of making us play games. You may not have anything against breaking_ international laws, _but we do, and we don't have time to guess what you have or haven't done thins time. You don't take the job seriously, and make jokes about thing that could probably make this world that_ we _live on go to hell. You do basically nothing, expecting everything around you to just magically happen. At first I thought the way you somehow just talked your way into Quinn's office was extremely impressive, but later when I was listening to you telling Fitz that you didn't use you breasts, and that you told him we were listening, I was absolutely disgusted! You could have cost us the mission, not to mention that you put one of our coms. In a glass of champagne? Those things are expensive, you know. Dr. Hall ended up being the source of the leak, but if he hadn't, he would have been well protected, and doing that could have gotten him killed. We can't trust you to be a reliable agent. Why am I wasting my time with you, training you, pouring my blood, sweat and tears into training you? I'm training a failure, and a time bomb. It's only a matter of time before you explode into a huge mass of betrayal. I can tell that you're hiding something. You always seem so interested in my past, but whenever I ask you about yours, you close yourself up and tell me some sob story about a foster home and nuns being mean to you. As much as it makes me feel understood, and that someone knows what it feels like to be hurt, I know there's more to that. I know it. Remember when you said you were going to talk to Quinn, and you said something like "Skipper to doggy" and blah blah blah, that could have been a huge risk. People will look at you weird if they here you, and then they will start to be suspicious. It could have blown your cover, and the whole mission would have failed. The gravitonium would have submerged the entire island under water, and thousands of people would be dead. It would have been your fault._

 _Think about that for a while,_

\- _Grant_

Skye slowly lowered the letter to the floor. She'd never thought about how Ward had felt every time she complained about pull-ups or god knows what else. She thought back to the person she used to be, and the person she was now, and she could not imagine being that person now. That Skye was a different Skye who would follow people with superpowers through the streets and tell them to look out for S.H.I.E.L.D. Now she would follow people with superpowers though the streets with S.H.I.E.L.D and try to protect them from other people and themselves. She didn't hack S.H.I.E.L.D for redacted documents anymore, but occasionally she used to steal Coulson's access card to look for information on her parents. May caught her once, and told her never to do it again, saying that if she really wanted to search S.H.I.E.L.D for traces of her parents, May would let her use her card, but only if she was present. "If I catch you taking it without permission…" The threat was always left hanging in the air. May was mysterious like that. They never found anything, and Skye hadn't asked May to help her in a few months.

Skye dug though the box to find the next letter. It was dated 10/14/13. As she opened it, she started thinking to herself that even though she did the willing and with more stamina now, one thing that hadn't changed about her was that she still hated pull-ups.

* * *

 **It was originally going to be May that gave the letters back to Skye, not saying a word, just coming out of her room as Skye came back, and her finding the letters on her bed, but my friend Vivian said that that would be out of character for her, and it's something that Hunter would probably do, him being the occasionally clueless guy we love. So May, letters, out of character, Hunter, clueless, there you go.**

 **If you've read to this point, thank you so much! I know I haven't posted in forever, and I honestly have no excuse for it. The only thing I can say I that I had an exchange student living at my house for three months, and now I'm living in her house for three months, but there were still like two months in between that, so I got nothing. I'm so sorry guys! But I'll do my very very very best to have something up at least by March. At least I know what my new years resolution is now.**

 **If you haven't already, read my other story, Playing With Fire, Water, and Love about how the Wicked Witch of the West became evil. (Hmm, maybe that's another reason I haven't updated this one…?)**

 **Also, I'm curious, how do you all feel about the events that occurred in the mid season finally? Most importantly how do we feel about Ward? I know my friends thought I was crazy when I said I cried when [SPOILER!] Ward died. [if that was a spoiler for you then you don't know the half of it.] I want to know what you thought!**

 **Follow, Favourite, and Review!**

\- **DragonJade**


	5. Chapter 5

**You guys are probably thinking, well, it's about time! Either that or you all hate me and none of you are reading this right now, so I'm basically taking to myself. My sort of lame explanation is at the bottom.**

 **I did my best to make it longer, and I think I kind of succeed. It's like, a few hundred words longer than the last chapter...**

 **Disclaimer** **: I do not own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D or any of the characters. All rights belong to Marvel.**

* * *

An hour went by: Skye's thoughts constantly wandered towards the box of letters sitting in the dumpster. She could easily just run back and get them. She should go and get them before someone else found them, and honestly, she would rather know what he wrote than have that happen. During a mission briefing, every word that had anything to do with letter, box, or Ward, dragged her thoughts back to the box in the dumpster. She was able to pay attention enough to know what was happening, and to not get herself or anyone else killed, but she was a robot. Every move, every punch was all reflex. Reflex, she reminded herself, that Ward had taught her.

A day went by: Curiosity gnawed away at Skye's stomach. It wasn't so much innocent wondering, but a desperate need.

On the outside, Skye's day went by pretty normally. On the inside, she felt like a giant storm had decided to rage around in her stomach. She wandered through the Playground, trying to keep busy and eventually decided that she may as well train. She made her way to her room and threw on a tank top and yoga pants, then she went down to the firing range to shoot away her emotions. When she got there, Simmons was just putting her handgun away. She greeted Skye with a smile and a nod, so Skye nodded back and picked up a gun. It felt heavier in her hand than normal. She turned off the safety, and raised the gun to point at her target. She was suddenly reminded of her old SO for the millionth time that day. She could practically hear his voice in her head while he lectured her about the different gun releases. _Safty release will let you to fire the gun. A mag release will_ not _not you to fire the gun._ She fired the first shot, willing the voices in her head to go silent. She stared at the hole in the target's chest. The earmuffs she had put on muffled the sound, protecting her ears, but the voices continued to ring. She moved on to the next target, and imagined it was Ward. He was looking at her, with his bearded face as he sat in his cell, trying to get Coulson to let him talk to her. She shot him in the arm, wanting to see the blood running down his arm. She shot him in both knees, wanting to see him crumple to the ground, and try to run away from her. Then she shot him in the head, and emptied the barrel into his body. The anger cleared, and Skye was faced with a human shaped target with bullet-holes in various different parts of the body. She put the gun back in the rack, and left the target where it was, full of bullet holes. As she left the shoot range she could hear Ward yelling at her for not putting it away.

* * *

"Skye, I need a combat partner. You up for it?" Skye was sitting in her bunk with her head in her hands, her hair falling in her face, when Bobbi knocked on the open door. "You okay? You look kind of sick."

Skye swung her legs off the bed and started to shake her hair into a ponytail. "Yeah, I'm up," she said, eager for a distraction, then added, "and I'm fine."

Bobbi studied her for a few seconds, then patted the door frame and left as she said, "Okay then, see you in five."

When she was gone, Skye changed back into her workout clothes from earlier, and knelt down to grab the socks she had discarded. Beside the socks was an envelope, torn open and face down. It was one of Ward's letters. She reached for it and picked it up. It was the letter she had thrown on the floor before she read the second letter. Skye supposed that in her frustration she had just forgotten about it and only thrown the second letter in the box, leaving the other one behind. Sometime during the day it must have been kicked under her bunk. She stared at Ward's writing on the front, and made a decision.

* * *

Skye quickly made her way down the hall, taking a shortcut to through the lab and down the stairs. She reached the hanger, and ran to the dumpster to retrieve Ward's box of letter. When she looked in, the box was gone, and the dumpster was empty.

For the millionth time Skye was knocked to the floor.

"I gotta say, you're normally a lot harder to beat," Bobbi said, offering her a hand. "Something up?"

Skye brushed it off. "Nah, I told you earlier, I'm fine. Ready for another go?" She turned to Bobbi with her arms up to protect her face.

"I think I'm good for today, but I'll come call on you tomorrow if you want."

"Yeah, sure."

"'Kay, then. I'm going to hit the shower. You probably should too."

Skye nodded. "I'll shower in a bit."

Bobbi nodded and left Skye standing alone in the gym, sweating and sore. She went to the high-bar on the side and swung her arms as momentum to help her jump up and catch the cold metal bar in her hands. Hanging there, she closed her eyes, and hauled herself up. When her chin was level with her hands, she let herself drop back down, and then pulled herself back up. Fifty pull-ups later, Skye finally let herself fall down from the bar and drop onto the padded floor of the gym. The sweat was now running down her face. She was tired, and couldn't stop the image of Ward scolding her for stopping her pull-ups just because she didn't feel like it. _You should've finished the set. You know that I'm just going to add them to the end of your next set and you'll be even more tired. It's always in your better interest to finish them._

Skye went back to her room to get a change of clothes, and some shampoo and conditioner so that she could shower. When she got there, she could hear someone's water running (probably Bobbi's). She grabbed a towel from the towel rack and walked into a shower stall in the far corner where she undressed and turned on the water, adjusting to the right temperature. She wet her hair, once again thinking about Ward and his letters. Whatever he had written would now forever be a mystery. She wished she had at least read the letters before throwing them away in anger. If she was going to be mad at Ward for writing to her, she should at least know what he wrote to her, and even though she wouldn't let herself admit it, she was kind of curious. She wanted to know what he though of her, how much she had really gotten under his skin, and if he really had truly felt something for her other than a simple crush. She filled her hand with conditioner and worked it into her hair, then she ran a soapy shower puff over her body. She went over Ward's written words in her head as she rinsed off the soap and dried herself off. She put on her pyjamas, Blue with little clouds and lightning on it, and made her way back to her room. On her way back, she stopped in the kitchen to make something to eat before continuing her route back to her room with a sandwich balanced on a plate. When she got to her room, the sliding door that she normally kept closed was open. Hunter was standing in the middle of the room holding a box, looking around for a place to put it. Skye cleared her throat loudly, and he turned around.

"Oh, hi Skye." He looked at the box, and then to her, then the box, and back to her. He held out the box to her and said, "I think this is yours. It had a bunch of envelopes with your name on them and I found it in the dumpster earlier, so I figure you'd probably want it back." When she didn't reach out to take the box, he put it down on the desk and cleared his throat. "Well, I'll uh, be going. I gotta go see Bobbi and do some uh, stuff so…" Hunter patted the box awkwardly and and then left.

Once he was gone Skye grabbed the box off the desk and ripped off the lid. Sure enough, it was full of Ward's letters. She searched through and grabbed the third letter, dated 10/03/13, and smoothed out the folds and started to read, feeling some sort of guilt eating at her stomach.

 _Dear Skye,_

 _Please, just kill me now. I can't stand being your SO. I just can't deal with you whining about too many pull-ups and getting up to early. I tell you again, that if you're hanging off the edge of a building, you're going to want to do at least one. If something goes wrong, or someone attacks you in the middle of the night, you won't have half an hour to make sure your makeup looks good. It's training, who cares what you look like? Your hair is going to be sweaty and everywhere at the end anyway, so why bother making it look good? Maybe start paying attention to what I'm trying to teach you. I've shown you how to disarm someone multiple times, yet you never get it! You do nothing during briefing, just sit around playing with your phone. Next time you have something even sort of useful to say, just come out and say it instead of making us play games. You may not have anything against breaking_ international laws, _but we do, and we don't have time to guess what you have or haven't done thins time. You don't take the job seriously, and make jokes about thing that could probably make this world that_ we _live on go to hell. You do basically nothing, expecting everything around you to just magically happen. At first I thought the way you somehow just talked your way into Quinn's office was extremely impressive, but later when I was listening to you telling Fitz that you didn't use you breasts, and that you told him we were listening, I was absolutely disgusted! You could have cost us the mission, not to mention that you put one of our coms. In a glass of champagne? Those things are expensive, you know. Dr. Hall ended up being the source of the leak, but if he hadn't, he would have been well protected, and doing that could have gotten him killed. We can't trust you to be a reliable agent. Why am I wasting my time with you, training you, pouring my blood, sweat and tears into training you? I'm training a failure, and a time bomb. It's only a matter of time before you explode into a huge mass of betrayal. I can tell that you're hiding something. You always seem so interested in my past, but whenever I ask you about yours, you close yourself up and tell me some sob story about a foster home and nuns being mean to you. As much as it makes me feel understood, and that someone knows what it feels like to be hurt, I know there's more to that. I know it. Remember when you said you were going to talk to Quinn, and you said something like "Skipper to doggy" and blah blah blah, that could have been a huge risk. People will look at you weird if they here you, and then they will start to be suspicious. It could have blown your cover, and the whole mission would have failed. The gravitonium would have submerged the entire island under water, and thousands of people would be dead. It would have been your fault._

 _Think about that for a while,_

\- _Grant_

Skye slowly lowered the letter to the floor. She'd never thought about how Ward had felt every time she complained about pull-ups or god knows what else. She thought back to the person she used to be, and the person she was now, and she could not imagine being that person now. That Skye was a different Skye who would follow people with superpowers through the streets and tell them to look out for S.H.I.E.L.D. Now she would follow people with superpowers though the streets with S.H.I.E.L.D and try to protect them from other people and themselves. She didn't hack S.H.I.E.L.D for redacted documents anymore, but occasionally she used to steal Coulson's access card to look for information on her parents. May caught her once, and told her never to do it again, saying that if she really wanted to search S.H.I.E.L.D for traces of her parents, May would let her use her card, but only if she was present. "If I catch you taking it without permission…" The threat was always left hanging in the air. May was mysterious like that. They never found anything, and Skye hadn't asked May to help her in a few months.

Skye dug though the box to find the next letter. It was dated 10/14/13. As she opened it, she started thinking to herself that even though she did the willing and with more stamina now, one thing that hadn't changed about her was that she still hated pull-ups.

* * *

 **It was originally going to be May that gave the letters back to Skye, not saying a word, just coming out of her room as Skye came back, and her finding the letters on her bed, but my friend Vivian said that that would be out of character for her, and it's something that Hunter would probably do, him being the occasionally clueless guy we love. So May, letters, out of character, Hunter, clueless, there you go.**

 **If you've read to this point, thank you so much! I know I haven't posted in forever, and I honestly have no excuse for it. The only thing I can say I that I had an exchange student living at my house for three months, and now I'm living in her house for three months, but there were still like two months in between that, so I got nothing. I'm so sorry guys! But I'll do my very very very best to have something up at least by March. At least I know what my new years resolution is now.**

 **If you haven't already, read my other story, Playing With Fire, Water, and Love about how the Wicked Witch of the West became evil. (Hmm, maybe that's another reason I haven't updated this one…?)**

 **Also, I'm curious, how do you all feel about the events that occurred in the mid season finally? Most importantly how do we feel about Ward? I know my friends thought I was crazy when I said I cried when [SPOILER!] Ward died. [if that was a spoiler for you then you don't know the half of it.] I want to know what you thought!**

 **Follow, Favourite, and Review!**

\- **DragonJade**


	6. Chapter 6

_I know, I know, I'm so sorry! Please don't hate me._

* * *

 _Dear Skye,_

 _I don't have a twitter. Or an Instagram, or a facebook and whatever other type of social media you spend every waking hour on. I'm not supposed to have anything that would make me easy to identify. I do have a fake facebook that S.H.I.E.L.D administration updates for me, so that if and when I go undercover, it won't be suspicious, and since you're training to be a field agent, I recommend you get used to not having your own personal social media too. On a murder scene, do you realize how disrespectful it is to be on your phone? At this point I have no doubt in my mind that you wouldn't, but most people with any respect would never update their facebook status or whatever at a funeral, so don't do it in a crime scene! We are supposed to be government professionals, and dragging you around with us everywhere is just making us look bad. You could probably do okay in the communications since you seem to do well with your computer thing, but even then, I get the feeling that you'd have a hard time obeying the law. Field work is different from hacking. If you make a mistake, you can't go back and wipe away all evidence that you were ever there, because you were there, and you are probably captured or dead, and the entire mission has likely failed, and possibly months of work completely wasted. S.H.I.E.L.D is not like the movies. Not everything turns out okay, and not everyone makes it out alive. You need to be in perfect physical condition and quick on your feet. Although, judging by today, you seem to be able to mentally recover from what I would expect to be a traumatizing event for you. Almost getting killed in a car is normally enough to put civilians into a state of shock for a few weeks, but you seemed to bounce back up in a few hours. FitzSimmons I thought would be okay seeing as they've been trained and warned about these kinds of things since they signed up for SHIELD, but you on the other hand, you may as well have just walked up here from the streets. In a sense, you did. I can't tell what it is about you, but something about you is different._

 _Well, I figure it's been a few letter now, and I never ended up giving them to you. Maybe I can be honest now. Half the time, I play up my frustration with you to make myself seem angrier. I'm not half as frustrated as I always seem to be. And in the mornings, I don't get forced into bed, and wound up all night and spring right back out first thing in the morning like a Jack in the box like you said I probably do. I'm always awake at six o'clock every morning. I can't help it. Once the hand hits six, my body wakes up, and I can't get back to sleep, no matter how late I went to bed. I'm tired in the morning, just like you are. I just want to go back to bed, but I know there's no point. I'll just lie there wasting time. I go through a morning work out routine to wake up my mind, and shower. You're not the only one who can't wake up in the morning. At the academy, your SO will expect you to be awake and ready to do your warm up drills the second he sees you. I don't think you realize that I'm being soft on you. I'm being soft on you just by agreeing to supervise someone untrained. Most of us don't get SOs until they go through at least three years of general training at the Academy, but you've never even seen it before._

 _Skye, I want you to understand that I'm not really that T-1000 that you think I am. I have feelings, I have sympathy but as a specialist I can't let those feelings show through. They would distract me and put all our lives in danger. My feelings are not worth the lives of five people, that's why specialists normally work alone. Solo means no distractions, no interferences, no attachments. It makes it easier to make the hard calla that are my job to make. I'm scared that if I let you in I'll be jeopardizing the lives of everyone on this team, including you. You are special to me; I just don't know exactly how._

 _I guess I'll keep you posted._

\- _Grant_

* * *

I am so sorry, you guys. I remember saying I'd update by march, but obviously that didn't happen. I also know that this chapter is kinda short and really bad. Ward is super out of character, his rambling is so out of control and forced, and half the stuff he says make absolutely no sense. Does anyone actually still read this story? If some one does, do you actually want me to keep updating? Please say so if you do, because I'll keep trying to update for that one person who does.

Until next time, my friends.

 **Follow, Favourite, Review!**

 **\- DragonJade**


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